


I Don't Write RPS

by turnonmyheels



Category: CW RPF
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-11-30
Updated: 2010-11-30
Packaged: 2017-10-13 11:19:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/136788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/turnonmyheels/pseuds/turnonmyheels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for salt_burn_porn for the prompt "fairies"</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Don't Write RPS

“Buncha fucking fairies.”

It wasn’t like Jensen had never heard it before, he had been a male cheerleader in Texas after all, but it wasn’t something he’d _ever_ heard in Canada. He took another sip of beer and glanced over at Jared to see if he’d heard it, but Jared was engaged in a heated discussion with Misha about the relative merits of full-immersion vs. text book language study.

“I said the CW actors were nothing but a buncha fucking fairies.” A hand clamped down on his shoulder and Jensen clenched his left hand into a fist and mentally slipped into Dean’s skin before turning to see who the hand belonged to.

The hand was average size with a smattering of brownish-red hair that thickened up the forearms until it was covered by a day-glo orange sweatshirt at the elbow. Jensen let Dean’s gaze stay slow and steady along the shoulder of the sweatshirt where it turned into a lime-green collar. He sipped his beer again before raising Dean’s gaze up to the face of the handsy bastard and immediately spit out the beer into the face of one, Michael Rosenbaum.

“Well you oughta know!” Jensen said laughing as he shook off Dean and handed Mike a napkin. “What the hell are you doing here? Tell me you’re not here as Lex Luthor.”

“Fuck that shit.” Mike said and signaled the bartender for a beer. He waved at Jared and Misha but neither of them noticed. “There is not enough money in the world for me to shave off my beautiful locks again.”

“What that really means is: for what they were paying Lex, they can have a full-time Lois _and_ a full-time Green Arrow,” Justin said, as he walked up. He bumped fists with Jensen and punched Mike on the arm.

“Yeah, well, those of us who weren’t selling our virgin asses to Falcon-,“ Mike shot back, “weren’t desperate enough to sell our souls to the CW for nothing, just to get out of taking two in the ass on camera.”

Justin threw his head back and laughed. Jensen watched Mike’s eyes trace over Justin’s Adam’s apple and down his chest. “You’re just pissed off because nobody wants to see you naked unless you’re sitting on Welling’s cock.”

It was true. Jensen couldn’t help but agree with Justin--he’d read the fic. They all had. “Unless,” Jensen chimed in, “unless you’re swallowing and choking on it.”

“Or rimming his ass before he fucks you,” Justin threw in

“You forgot the very best ones,” Mike said, and wagged his eyebrows.

“Doubt it.”

Mike held up one finger, “There’s the entire ‘Lex uses kryptonite to capture Clark and rapes him until he likes it’ genre.”

Justin held a hand to his heart and looked up at the ceiling. “Ah,” he said and batted his eyes, “my personal favorite.”

“Not mine,” Mike smirked and looked at Jensen. “My very personal favorite is Jensen on his hands and knees, or laid out over a table, chair, or car, or whatever handy flat surface is available, while Jared or Jeff fucks him with their monster-sized cocks and calls him a whore.”

Justin nodded sagely at Mike and turned to Jensen. “It’s true my very pretty, long eye-lashed and freckled friend. You’re a screaming bottom who gets off on being called a whore.”

“It is true,” Jensen agreed, “I am.” The three of them knocked their beers together and drank. “But please don’t say that where they--“ he nodded behind him toward Misha and Jared, “can hear you, because they’ll start talking about it and won’t stop until hiatus.”

The night spun a little out of control from there. Mike called for shots. Justin called for shots. Jensen called for shots. Jared and Misha left for the night when the bar started karaoke and then Mike called for shots and it went around and around and around.

And then, Mike got up and sang Flo Rida’s _Right Round_ and then Jensen sang as himself and *not* Dean _Wanted Dead or Alive_ while Justin performed an interpretive dance of the subject matter.

And that, dear fangirls, is how we find ourselves in the bathroom of this fine Canadian drinking establishment to see Oliver Queen aka Green Arrow-- not Justin (they were role playing), not Mike or Jensen --on his knees with Lex Luthor’s (remember: role playing) cock down his throat while Dean Winchester (did I mention they were role playing?) gave the color commentary:

“What kind of name is Oliver Queen for a super hero anyway? Especially one that wears tights and shoots a bow and arrow? I mean, there’s subtext and then there’s subtext…and there you are a real live walking Queen.”

“With a very obvious crush on Superman.” Lex said through gritted teeth. “You should be ashamed of yourself. Trying to lure him to you with your money and fancy cars.”

“Uh, Lex?” Oliver backed off the blow job and pointed his finger at Lex. “I learned it from watching you!”

“Then you should have realized that approach was never going to work and tried something new.” Lex grabbed Oliver by his hair and pulled him back to his cock.

“I’ve always found alcohol and something cool like, ‘your legs must be tired, you’ve been running through my mind all night’ to be effective,” Dean chimed in.

Lex turned and looked at Dean. “I do not think--“ his breath caught and his hips slammed forward until Oliver’s nose was buried in his pubic hair, “you know what that--“ Lex closed his eyes and grunted as he came, “word means.” Lex pulled out and stepped to the side so Dean could have turn.

“I’m pretty sure I do,” Dean said as Oliver licked up the side of his dick. “Oliver, baby. Is your daddy in prison? Because he must have stolen the stars from the skies and put them in your eyes.”

Oliver stopped licking Dean and shot a glare at Lex. “My dad is dead, because *his* dad murdered him! He’s probably in hell with your dad.”

Dean grabbed Oliver by his ears and pulled until Oliver was looking him in the eye. “How many times--“ he asked, voice deeper and more gravelly than it had ever been, “do I have to tell you not to mention the H word around me?” Oliver didn’t say anything, just licked his lips and opened his mouth. Dean pushed in and leaned back against the bathroom wall and let Green Arrow do his thing.

Green Arrow was very good at his thing. He hummed. He licked. He oh-so-gently nibbled and at *just* the right time, he swallowed around Dean’s cock until Dean pulled out of his mouth and came with a yell as he shot all over Green Arrow’s face.

Which wasn’t a bad thing, because then Lex Luthor pulled Green Arrow up to his feet and licked the come off of his face while jerking him off.

“We really shouldn’t do stupid shit like this in public bathrooms,” Jensen said while he was washing his hands and watching the last of the hand job in the mirror. “That’s what hotels are for, right?”

“And trailers,” Justin and Mike said together as Justin started to come.

After Jensen, Mike, and Justin pulled themselves together they left the bathroom more sober and satisfied than they’d entered it.

There were more shots. Mike took over karaoke. Justin and Jensen played pool and eventually sang a couple of songs too. There were more beers and a cab ride to Jensen’s apartment. But I can’t tell you what happened there because I don’t write RPS.

Unless it’s about Christian Kane and Ed Westwick.


End file.
